Lately I can’t stop fantasizing about my future and the future relationship(s) I’ll hopefully have. I feel like there’s someone out there that’s perfect for me. I don’t want so much as to go out and search for them, I feel like if it’s fate it can’t be rushed- it will just happen- but I do want love to blossom suddenly and beautifully as I know it so often does. These thoughts are all that’s been getting me through this breakup. I’ve realized now that I just missed being loved, and mostly having somebody to love. The cuddling, giggling, smiling, gazing, being absolutely free and comfortable with someone else and thinking how wonderful it felt to be so deeply in love- it’s those images that are getting me through this. I miss that more than anything. I realize now that it’s not the person I miss so much anymore- which is fair on terms of our fallout, I doubt he misses me much either- but just being in love in general that I’m really holding onto, and all the little things that came along with it. I can’t wait for it to happen again; out of nowhere with someone I had never expected it with before. I want it to just happen and sneak up on me when I least expect it. That’s the exciting part. But for now I’ll be waiting, comfortably content with my life, hoping for a bright tomorrow but not exactly expecting too much. I’m hopeful that it will happen, but if it doesn’t, obviously God has greater plans for me. At this point, there’s not much that can disappoint me.

I’ve learned so much through everything I’ve been through in my life so far. And I am so thankful that I’ve come to the realization that pain is only temporary, and hard times will always pass eventually. It takes hitting rock bottom to realize that you can only move forward from here. I’m looking forward to my future.